


Cough With Caution

by Ironicallyiron



Category: Clarence (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Other, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironicallyiron/pseuds/Ironicallyiron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sumo got sick because he kept sleeping outside and Jeff got sick because, um, Sumo coughed in Jeff's mouth."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cough With Caution

"Sumo got sick because he kept sleeping outside and Jeff got sick because, um, Sumo coughed in Jeff's mouth." 

This was the excuse behind Clarence's two best friends not going to school. It's not incorrect, as Clarence's stories tend to be, but it's not the full story, either. 

Sumo did, in fact, get sick because he slept outside. He slept outside so he could have his own space, away from his numerous siblings. It was usually very crowded in his house, to the point where he often bumped into his siblings, or had to squeeze his way through rooms. Even in his bed he wasn't alone! He and his siblings usually squeezed together uncomfortably on their- admittedly fairly large- bed, but for this particular week, he decided to sleep outside. He figured it would get him some personal space; plus, it's not like he'd never slept outside before. It would be just like camping!

Jeff, being the germaphobe he is, made sure Sumo knew the ramifications of sleeping outside. 

"You know there are all kinds of disgusting bugs outside, don't you?!" Said Jeff, upon hearing Sumo's plan. 

"Yeah, I know. I'm fine with 'em, unless they keep bothering me. Then I'll catch 'em and put 'em in your house." He snickered. 

Jeff shuddered at the idea of disgusting bugs in his lovely, pristine home. "Sumo, that's disgusting," he scolded, "plus breaking and entering is illegal." Sumo rolled his eyes. 

"I wouldn't  _break_ anything," He said in a matter-of-fact tone, "I'd just get ol' Clarence here to plant 'em in your room next time you invite him over. Isn't that right, Clarence?" He looked over at his other friend, who was busy playing with a wad of gum he had been chewing all day. 

"Huh? Oh- yeah, sure." He said distractedly. 

"...Whatcha doin' there?" Inquired Sumo as Jeff pulled a grossed-out face. 

"I'm tryin' to make George Washington's face outta this gum." He stated, brows furrowed in concentration. 

Sumo laughed, "That's awesome! We should make a whole bunch of 'em and sell 'em to the other kids!" 

"I like the way you think!" Said Clarence excitedly. He paused for a moment. "We're gonna need-" he rubbed his chin in thought- "about a thousand of these by the end of the day. Think we can handle it?" He asked. 

Sumo nodded enthusiastically. 

"I don't think-" 

Jeff was interrupted by Clarence shoving a wad of obviously pre-chewed, dry gum into his mouth. Jeff screamed out of disgust in a highly-pitched tone and fell out of his chair, horrified. 

"Clarence, that's disgusting!" "No," replied Clarence thoughtfully, "It's art."

Jeff stared at him for a moment. "No, it's- you know what, never mind." He shook his head. 

"I'm leaving. Sumo, don't sleep outside. It's cold at night, there are bugs, there are germs, there are _wild animals,_ and it's supposed to rain." Said Jeff, standing up and brushing himself off. 

Sumo nodded, obviously not having heard what Jeff said (or at least not caring about it). 

Jeff huffed and carefully re-packed his lunch before leaving the table. 

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Sumo was missing from school. 

Jeff and Clarence were both worried about his wellbeing, but Clarence's theories as to where their friend was only furthered his anxiety.

"What if he's been abducted by aliens?!" Came Clarence's worried cry. 

"No, Clarence, I think he's si-"

"What if- what if his parents moved and left him at his house, and, and-" he sniffled, eyes tearing up at the idea of Sumo having to go through anything bad, "and he's trying to find them!" 

Jeff hesitantly patted Clarence's head, wiping his hand off on his shirt immediately after. "That's not very likely. I mean, he doesn't have the  _best_ parents, but i don't think they'd just leave him."

Clarence sobbed, blubbering about how maybe he was kidnapped, or maybe he was attacked by wolves, or maybe he was eaten alive by a couch demon. 

Jeff couldn't stand to see Clarence so torn up about their friend. 

"I'll tell you what," Jeff began, "tomorrow I'll take you to visit him." He cringed internally at the idea of going to such a gross place for so long to see their (sick, snot-covered, probably contagious)friend, but he hated seeing Clarence like this. He pushed those thoughts out of his mind as Clarence threw his arms around him and sobbed gratefully into his once clean cyan shirt. 

He tried to move away from the hug, but Clarence clung to him tightly. _Too_ tightly. 

"Thank you Jeff!" Cried Clarence, but Jeff didn't respond. He was starting to hyperventilate due to all the disgusting germs coming into contact with him at the moment. 

Clarence, thankfully, eventually, let go after Jeff had flailed hard enough for him to understand that his friend wanted out of his grasp. 

Clarence seemed to stop worrying so badly after that, but he went on and on about how he was eager to see Sumo, and all the things he was gonna do for him. 

Jeff didn't try to point out that Sumo wouldn't be able to play due to his illness; he just let Clarence be happy. A happy Clarence is better than a clinging, sobbing, snotting Clarence. 

 

* * *

 

The next day, after school had been dealt with and precautions had been taken, Jeff and Clarence made their way toward Sumo's more-than-humble abode. 

Jeff donned a flu mask and rubber gloves. Clarence wore his normal clothes, despite pleads from Jeff to get him to change.

Jeff, of course, warned him about the possibility of catching an illness the day before a field trip as a way to convince him, but the shorter boy cared not. 

"If I miss the field trip," said Clarence, "I get to stay at home and watch about zoos on T.V! It's the same thing, duh."

Jeff opened his mouth to correct Clarence on his wrong opinion, but was immediately interrupted by Clarence's alert that they were at the gate of Sumo's home. 

They hurried, Clarence excited and Jeff nervous, to the rickety front gate, which Clarence climbed over. Jeff, however, carefully opened the gate then closed it behind him. 

Clarence scattered to the front door, waving at Sumo's siblings as he darted past. Jeff politely waved and asked all of them how their days were, to which he mostly got blank stares as replies. 

Jeff knocked on the door of the run-down Sumozski residence, but received no answer other than the ruckus already occurring inside. Clarence took this as an invitation to enter. 

None of the Sumozskis seemed to notice or care about the two as they walked to Sumo's bedroom; they were all fixated on the small television screen, which was showing some kind of football game. It was hard to tell due to the fuzzy image and static-y audio.

Upon reaching the presumably sick boy's room, Clarence quickly yelled, "Sumo we're comin' in don't be surprised or naked or dead!" before he flung the door open.

He immediately pounced onto Sumo's bed, earning a surprised yell from the bald child. 

Upon realizing that it was just Clarence, he sniffled and laughed, which turned into a rasping cough. 

Clarence gasped. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. 

 "Yeah, whatever." Replied Sumo, his voice more raspy and nasally than usual.

 Clarence gasped again, more excitedly this time. "Your voice is changing!" He said, "You're becoming a real man now."

Jeff rolled his eyes and advanced closer to Sumo. "We came to make sure you're being properly taken care of." 

"Oh yeah, thanks mom." Sumo replied, sniffling again. 

"Woah, Jeff's your mom?!" 

"No, Clarence, he means- never mind. Look," said Jeff, "if you don't want us to take care of you, we'll just leave." It was an empty threat, of course, as he could never think of leaving his friend when he's so sick (even though he  _did_ warn him about sleeping outside).

"Whatever," Sumo said, "you're just here to rub it in my face that I was wrong." he huffed. 

Jeff smirked a bit underneath his flu mask. "Well," Jeff began. Sumo groaned. 

"I  _could_ tell you I was right, because I was," he heard Sumo growl, "but I won't. Because I'm the bigger person. And I'm here to help."

Sumo made a 'tch' sound and rolled over.

"I didn't ask for you to help, I'll be- I'll be-" Sumo sneezed loudly. 

"Don't you say a single thing." Snapped Sumo before Jeff could speak. 

Clarence suddenly sat up with a gasp.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I forgot!" He yelled, hurriedly grabbing his backpack and unzipping it.

As Sumo and Jeff stared inquisitively, Clarence fished around in the bag, searching excitedly.

"Here!" He said, chunking a big wad of _something_ at Sumo.

It hit him in the face.

"Clarence, what the-" Sumo picked the thing up and realized it was a huge wad of gum.

"I brought it so we could work on our lil' Georgies while you were sick!" He explained.

Sumo groaned and slapped a hand to his head. "No one's gonna buy something that's been in a sick guy's mouth!" He said, exasperated. Jeff, on the other hand, looked queasy at the sight of moist, pre-chewed gum.

"I wouldn't buy something that's been in another person's mouth in general." Stated Jeff.

Sumo snickered. "That's because you're a nerd who's afraid of a little germs." Jeff, taken aback, glared at his bed-ridden friend. 

"Well of course I am," Said Jeff angrily, "because I'm not a dirty weirdo who likes to _sleep outside."_

Sumo growled at Jeff, knitting his eyebrows together. "Oh yeah? Well at least-"

Clarence suddenly came between the two, who had unknowingly been inching towards eachother more with each word. "Guys, guys," he said, chuckling nervously, "don't fight! Let's just agree that Sumo shouldn't have slept outside and Jeff shouldn't be so uptight!"

The two boys huffed in unison. "Whatever," said Jeff, "I just came to see if you needed anything."

"Yeah," said Sumo sarcastically, "I need your _maaaagical health powers_ to heal me."

Clarence gasped, slapping his hands to his face. "What?! Jeff has _healing powers?!"_ Sumo nodded. "Ee-yup," he said, still being sarcastic, "if he gives me a kiss I'll be healed right up."

"Don't say that, he'll belie- AAGH!"

Jeff was suddenly interrupted by Clarence ripping of his flu mask. "What are you doing?! I don't have-"

"Do it for Sumo!" Cried Clarence, moving behind Jeff and pushing him forward. Jeff screamed.

"No, nonononono!! He was joking!" He yelled, but it was to no avail. Clarence kept pushing him forward.

Sumo scattered away from the two of them, laughing. Sure, it was funny, but he didn't want to kiss _Jeff!_

Clarence continued to force Jeff forward, yelling, "It's for your own good! Just help him!," as Jeff struggled.

Sumo fell off of his bed, on the opposite side of his two best friends, still laughing and coughing.

"Cl-Clarence, stop!" Yelled Jeff, "I don't wanna get sick!"

Clarence and Jeff tumbled onto the bed, a pile of grunts, horrified screams, and flailing limbs.

Clarence wrapped his arms around Jeff and rolled the both of them to the other side of the bed.

"Stoooooop! Stopstop STOP, CLARENCE!" Jeff cried, inches away from falling off the edge of the bed.

"It's- for- SUMO!"

At the final word of his sentence, he and Jeff tumbled off the side of the bed and onto their sick friend.

Jeff all but screeched.

Sumo's laughter was completely gone, replaced now by a face of horror at the increasingly real probability that he would have to kiss Jeff.

Sumo started to call out in protest, telling Clarence he was just kidding, but Clarence kept forcing Jeff's face closer to his.

The germaphobe and the sick boy both cried out, their faces inches away from touching-

then suddenly, Sumo's cry turned into a lung-wrenching, deep, wet cough.

Jeff's mouth was open.

The loudest, most piercing scream to have ever occurred in the Sumozski residence came from Jeff's mouth at that very moment.

His scream startled Clarence, making him release his grip on Jeff, who immediately ran out the door and across the hall to the bathroom.

Sumo and Clarence sat in silence as they heard Jeff's mixture of sobbing and vomiting in the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

Jeff and Sumo were both bed-ridden for the next week, causing them to not only miss their field trip, but also two tests and a pop quiz.

On the other hand, Clarence's gum-George Washingtons were a huge hit with the other kids.

At least someone was happy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that the ending sucked =n= its pretty late right now and i was kinda tired when i wrote this!


End file.
